What I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me 40 Years Ago When I Married My Husband

Forty years.  We have been married for 40 years!!  Amazing!!!  Happy Anniversary to us!!  S0…since we celebrated our 40^th wedding anniversary this week…and since it was my turn to blog…I thought it would be appropriate to share something about our marriage.  Forty years I have done this thing.  Forty years to a pastor.  Forty years of ministry.  Crazy I say, crazy!!

As I reflected over these last 40 years and pondered about what to write, I realized that there were some things that I wish someone had told me 40 years ago when I married my husband.  So, here goes....this list is not in any particular order...nor is it comprehensive or complete....I'm sure I will think of other things as soon as this is done....but here goes!!

What I wish someone had told me 40 years ago when I married my husband...

1. That we would not sit together at church or be together at church or drive together to church…but that we’d be at church, A.LOT, and we’d see each other across a room or pass each other walking down the hall and give each other that special smile that is our and ours alone.

2. That sadly, there would be times that I would wish I had married someone else….and be grateful I would never say it out loud because those thoughts were lies from the enemy.

3. That he would make me so very sad…and I would pout and clam up and then after a few days not even remember why I was sad…and that when I am sad no one nor no thing can ease the sadness like his hug.

4. That the very things that I loved about him when we dated would be the very things that drove me crazy after we married….so when I get frustrated with him….to remember how endearing those traits were to me in the beginning.

5. That sometimes he will think I am trying to “fix” him when really I am wanting him to be all God wants him to be…which can come across as me trying to fix him.  God can do a much better job at that than I can.

6. That I will want to run away from home….and I will….and I will never stay away more than a couple of hours….because with him is where I belong.

7. That his job is not to make me happy….or meet my all of my needs.

8. That sex can be painful….both physically and emotionally…but it is the one thing he shares with no one else but me.

9. That there would be times when I would not like him—at.all—but love him profusely…because love is not a feeling but it is a decision.

10. That our children would be the best and the worst parts of us…and we’d begin a new generation of Godliness.

11. That I would not be any good at being a wife….but that His Word would guide me and His grace sustain both of us.

12. That I might have birthdays and anniversaries where I don’t get a gift….but that there are other gifts.  Forgiveness is a gift.  Forgetting is a gift. 

13. That his words or his silence can be hurtful…..but his wink is like the balm of Gilead to a hurting heart.

14. That we would age and grey over the years but that he would still be the most handsome man in the room and will still have the most beautiful, brightest, blue eyes that ever existed.

15. That snuggling at home on the couch with him would be the best place I would ever want to be….unless of course that couch was in some amazing beach town or mountain village.

I wish someone would have told me how very hard marriage was going to be….and how close to God it would take me....and how quickly 40 years would go by….